Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Randomize
