even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
