Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
