In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
