I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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