i may or may not be watching the land before time
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
