you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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