3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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