I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
