How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
