My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
