I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I stole a fireplace last night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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