when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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