The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
