...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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