why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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