Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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