what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize