He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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