The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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