Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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