Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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