you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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