Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
