i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
