if only i could text you this smell
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize