I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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