I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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