I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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