It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
