I hope mine doesn't look like that
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
