My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
