Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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