Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
