Where is the hickey?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
