I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This is classic penis vs brain.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
