Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
