The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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