she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
