I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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