did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize