Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
