Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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