I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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