What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
