Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
