Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
