If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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