Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
