id be glad to
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You know, be my cock's hype man.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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