my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Text me some of your sweat
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