i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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