I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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