It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No subtext here. People are naked.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
