why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
