If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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