so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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