she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
