2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
