laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
