you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You can't motorboat a personality
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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