check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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